7 Therapist-Backed Tips to Deal with a Depressed Partner

Depression is tough! And when someone you love is struggling, it can leave you feeling helpless.

You might be wondering what to say, how to help, or if you’re doing enough. Maybe you’ve tried to stay strong, but inside, you feel overwhelmed or emotionally drained. That’s okay. Those feelings are valid.

Supporting a depressed partner isn’t about fixing them. It’s about being there, in ways that feel loving, steady, and real.

In this post, you’ll learn 7 therapist-backed tips to support your depressed partner. Whether it’s understanding their emotional needs, finding local resources, or setting boundaries, these strategies will help you show up with compassion, without losing yourself in the process.

7 Therapist-Backed Tips to Help Your Depressed Partner

1. Acknowledge Your Partner’s Feelings Without Trying to Fix Them

When your partner is in pain, the instinct is to help them feel better. But with depression, quick fixes or forced positivity often backfire. Your partner doesn’t need advice, they need your presence.

Instead of offering solutions is  couples therapy & marriage counselling , focus on listening. Say things like, “That sounds really hard. I’m here with you.” You need to validate their emotions without judgment.

Avoid phrases like, “At least you…” or “You just need to…”; they can feel undervalued.

Just being present and calm can be deeply comforting for them. Try to sit with their feelings, even if it feels uncomfortable. This shows respect for their experience and helps them feel less alone.

Emotional support isn’t about fixing, it’s about accepting them as they are in that moment.

2. Encourage Professional Help Without Pressure

Suggesting therapy can be delicate. Your partner might feel ashamed, overwhelmed, or afraid they’ll be judged. Your partner may already feel like a burden. Pushing them too hard can increase guilt or defensiveness.

Instead, express your support gently. You might say, “I read something recently that made me think; maybe talking to someone could help.” Normalize therapy by sharing articles, podcasts, or your own experiences if you have them.

Offer to help find a therapist or explore options together. If money is a concern, help research low-cost or sliding-scale providers. What matters most is letting them know help exists, and it’s okay to need it.

If they’re hesitant, respect that. Just keep showing up and making therapy feel like a safe, normal next step, not an ultimatum.

3. Create a Comfortable Routine Together

Depression can make everyday tasks feel overwhelming. There will be days your partner loses structure, and even getting out of bed may feel like a battle. So, creating and following a simple, shared routine can bring back stability during those hard times and need a depression therapy.

You can start with just one small habit. You could have coffee together at the same time each morning or go for a short walk around your neighborhood. If you live in Los Angeles, a regular stroll through Echo Park or along the Venice Boardwalk can be grounding without feeling like a chore.

The goal isn’t productivity, it’s consistency. Choose low-pressure activities that feel comforting, not demanding. Some days, just folding laundry together or cooking a quick dinner counts.

Check in weekly: “What felt doable? What felt heavy?” Build the routine together, with compassion, not rules. Small, repeatable actions can make the days feel safer for both of you.

4. Respect Your Partner’s Social Limits Without Taking It Personally

Depression can make social situations feel draining or even unbearable. Crowds, small talk, or pretending to be okay may push your partner into shutdown mode.

Avoid taking their withdrawal personally. Instead, check in gently: “Would staying in feel better tonight?” If they’re unsure, offer low-key alternatives like watching a movie at home or a quiet walk instead of a group dinner.

Let them know it’s okay to say “No” and that their needs matter.

When friends ask about your partner’s absence, you can say, “They’re taking time to rest. Thanks for understanding.” No need for over-explaining.

Respecting their energy levels shows love. And sometimes, just having the option to opt out brings relief.

5. Offer Help With Daily Tasks But Let Them Lead

When your partner is low on energy or mentally foggy, doing simple things like laundry, bills, cooking can feel overwhelming. But offering help doesn’t mean doing everything for them.

Ask first. “Would it help if we did this together?” or “Do you want a hand with this, or some quiet company while you do it?” Giving choices helps preserve dignity and reduces pressure.

Sometimes, supporting your partner looks like doing the dishes while they rest. Other times, it’s setting up a shared to-do list or texting gentle reminders for appointments.

Make your help feel like partnership, not caretaking. Your presence can reduce stress but your respect for their independence builds trust.

Supporting your partner with depression means noticing what’s heavy and sharing the load without taking it out of their hands.

6. Encourage Physical Activity in a Gentle Way

Exercise is beneficial for mental health, but motivation can be low during depression. That’s why physical activity should feel supportive and not like another task to check off.

Instead of “Let’s exercise,” try: “Want to get some fresh air together?” or “Would stretching feel good right now?”

Keep it simple and shared. Movement can be light, gentle, and mood-boosting; even if it’s just for 5 minutes.

Here are a few ways to stay active together without pressure:

• Take a slow walk around the block or nearby park
• Try a beginner yoga video at home
• Put on calming music and stretch together
• Step outside to water plants or feel the sun for a moment

Supporting your partner’s mental health through gentle physical activity is about presence, not performance. Even tiny moments of movement can bring grounding and relief.

7. Prioritize Your Own Well-Being

Loving someone through depression doesn’t mean abandoning your own needs. You matter in this relationship, too.

It’s okay to feel tired, resentful, or overwhelmed. These emotions don’t make you selfish, they make you human.

To stay grounded, you can:

• Set gentle boundaries: “I’m here for you, but I need 30 minutes to recharge.”
• Keep your own routines: morning walks, journaling, or even solo coffee breaks.
• Talk to a therapist or join a support group. Mental health support isn’t just for the person struggling.

Showing up for your partner starts with showing up for yourself. When you’re emotionally steady, you offer the calm, loving presence they need without losing yourself in the process.

Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s your anchor.

 

Explore Local Mental Health Support in Los Angeles

You don’t have to figure this out alone. Los Angeles offers many supportive spaces designed for individuals and partners navigating mental health challenges.

You can consider these accessible options:

• Community workshops focused on mental health awareness are often held in Downtown LA and Westwood—check local event boards or libraries.
• University-affiliated groups, such as those at UCLA or USC, frequently host open support sessions for both students and the public.
• Wellness spaces provide guided sessions for stress relief and emotional grounding.

To find nearby resources, try searching for “depression support groups near me” or use directories like Psychology Today or NAMI Los Angeles.

 

You Don’t Have to Face Depression Alone – Dr. Harel Offers the Support That Works

If you’re struggling with depression and nothing seems to help, Dr. Harel Papikian provides expert, results-driven care you can trust. As a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles with over 15 years of experience, Dr. Harel specializes in helping individuals break free from chronic sadness, fatigue, hopelessness, and emotional disconnection.

His unique ARM Method – Awareness, Release, Mastery; blends cognitive therapy, hypnotherapy, and neuro linguistic programming (NLP) to create lasting emotional relief. Many of his clients report a noticeable shift in just 2–4 months.When you’re ready to begin this meaningful journey together, it’s natural to wonder, how much does a couples therapist cost? Sessions typically range from $200 to $350 in Los Angeles. Sliding scale options help make lasting transformation more accessible, no matter your financial path.

Dr. Harel offers both in-person sessions in Santa Monica and secure virtual therapy across California.