What to Expect During Your First Couples Therapy Session?

If it’s your first couples therapy session, it’s natural to feel uncertain or even anxious. But knowing what to expect can ease those nerves and help you show up with more clarity and confidence.

In couples therapy, it’s not about blaming one another, it’s about understanding patterns, rebuilding trust, and learning how to better support each other. 

And the good news? You don’t have to navigate this alone. Your sessions will create a safe space for both partners to feel heard and supported.

In this guide, you’ll learn how to prepare, what actually happens in the first session, common challenges, and how to get the most out of therapy. It’s all part of building stronger, more connected relationships, one step at a time.

What Happens in the First Couples Therapy Session?

So, you’ve booked your first couples therapy session or are going to, but now you’re wondering what it’s actually going to be like. That’s completely normal. 

Whether you’re feeling hopeful, nervous, or just plain unsure, understanding how the first meeting works can help you feel more prepared and at ease.

1. Laying the Groundwork

The first few minutes of your couples therapy session are about building comfort and clarity. Your therapist will start by welcoming you and briefly reviewing any intake forms you’ve filled out. 

They’ll explain what a typical session looks like, usually 50 minutes, and how the process will unfold. They’ll cover:

• Confidentiality: what stays private and what doesn’t
• Their role: not to take sides, but to support both of you equally
• Structure: whether sessions will always be joint, or sometimes individual

You might be asked simple but important questions, like “What brought you in today?” or “What do each of you want from therapy?” These opening moments aren’t about fixing anything. They’re about listening and building trust.

The therapist’s goal here is to create emotional safety. You’re not expected to be perfect or have the right words. You just need to show up honestly. The focus isn’t on who’s right, it’s on helping you both feel heard.

2. Sharing Your Story

Next, your therapist will invite each of you to share a bit about your relationship. They may start with the partner who feels more ready to speak, or simply ask, “Who’d like to go first?”

You might be asked to describe:

• How your relationship began
• Milestones or turning points
• Challenges you’ve faced
• How those experiences have affected you personally

This isn’t about telling your story perfectly, it’s about being honest, even if your emotions feel messy or hard to name. The therapist may ask clarifying questions to help you go deeper or reflect back what they’ve heard to show understanding.

You don’t have to reveal everything at once. Just share what feels most important right now. You’ll have time to revisit deeper layers as trust builds.

Hearing each other’s stories with the therapist’s support often reveals new insights. It’s the first step in shifting from assumptions to empathy.

3. Exploring Strengths and Struggles

After you’ve shared your story, your therapist will begin exploring what’s working in your relationship, and where things feel stuck. They might ask: “When do you feel most connected?” or “What are the arguments that keep coming up?”

You may be asked to reflect on:

• Moments when things felt good or supportive
• Patterns that lead to tension or hurt
• Outside stressors like parenting, money, or family dynamics

Sometimes, therapists use brief tools, like asking you both to name one thing your partner does well or one thing that feels hard right now. These small moments reveal deeper patterns without overwhelming you.

It’s normal to feel uneasy sharing struggles openly. The therapist’s role is to help you both feel safe enough to speak without judgment, and to start seeing these pain points as opportunities for growth.

This part of the session isn’t just about problems. It’s about identifying what already holds you together, so you can build on it, while understanding what needs healing.

4. Setting Goals

Toward the end of your first couples therapy session, your therapist may begin exploring what you both hope to get out of therapy. You won’t need to have all the answers right away, but starting the conversation helps shape the path forward.

You and your partner might be invited to reflect on questions like:

• “What would a healthier relationship look like for you?”
• “What do you want to feel more of—or less of—in this partnership?”

Together, you’ll begin identifying shared goals, such as:

• Communicating more clearly and calmly
• Rebuilding trust after hurt
• Feeling more emotionally or physically connected
• Navigating parenting, finances, or life transitions
• Communicating more effectively
• Resolving conflicts without escalation
• Rebuilding intimacy or trust
• Navigating parenting or life changes

 

The therapist’s job is to help turn these hopes into workable goals, without pressure or perfection. Sometimes, just naming the desire for change is the first win.

How You Can Prepare for Your First Session?

Starting couples therapy can feel overwhelming, especially if you don’t know what to expect. But a little preparation can ease anxiety and make that first session more meaningful.

1. Reflect as a Couple: What Brings You to Therapy?

Before you even enter the therapy room, it’s helpful to talk honestly with your partner about why you’re seeking help.

• Are there recurring arguments that leave you both feeling unheard or exhausted?
• Do you feel like the emotional connection has faded?
• Are you going through a major life change—like becoming parents, job loss, or grief—that’s testing your relationship?

Why it matters: Sharing your hopes and pain points with each other helps your therapist understand where you both stand—and creates a shared sense of purpose.

2. Complete Paperwork Early

Most therapists will send an intake form before your first session. This form might ask about your relationship history, communication struggles, or past experiences with therapy.

Why it matters: A well-filled intake form gives your therapist a head start so that your first session can be focused, not spent gathering basic details.

3. Clarify Personal Goals

Ask yourself:

What would make therapy feel “successful” for me?

Do I want fewer conflicts? More intimacy? To feel respected and heard?

Why it matters: Clarifying goals helps your therapist tailor the sessions and track progress, ensuring your needs are addressed.

Common Challenges Couples Face in Therapy in the Initial Sessions

Every couple faces bumps in the road. Here’s how to navigate the most common ones:

1. One Partner Is Hesitant

It’s normal for one person to be more open to therapy than the other. Don’t pressure them—invite them gently. Consider doing a trial session.

“Let’s just try one session and see how it feels.”

2. Expecting Instant Results

Therapy isn’t a quick fix. But small changes—like one calmer conversation—can be powerful signs of growth.

3. Falling into the Blame Game

Therapy will teach you to shift from “You always…” to “Here’s what I’m feeling.”

 Accountability replaces criticism. Empathy replaces defensiveness.

4. Triggering Old Wounds

Old hurts may surface. But this time, you’re not handling them alone. With support, those wounds can begin to heal instead of keep festering.

Make Therapy Work for You: Tips for Success

• Show up consistently
• Be honest and open
• Practice what you learn between sessions
• Embrace discomfort—growth lives there
• Celebrate small wins

Remember, therapy isn’t about “fixing” each other. It’s about understanding each other better and supporting one another more effectively.

Looking for a Couples Therapist in LA? Meet Dr. Harel

If you’re beginning your therapy journey in Los Angeles, Dr. Harel is a highly regarded couples therapist known for creating warm, judgment-free spaces where real transformation happens.

With years of experience working with couples from diverse backgrounds—including LGBTQ+ relationships, multicultural dynamics, and modern love challenges—Dr. Harel helps partners:

Strengthen emotional bonds

Break through communication roadblocks

Heal from betrayal or emotional disconnection

Dr. Harel is a licensed clinical psychologist and blends his transformational ARM Method (Awareness, Release, and Mastery) with a deeply compassionate, client-centered approach. Whether you’re feeling stuck, hurt, or just want to reconnect, you’ll find support, insight, and practical tools for real change.

Many couples report feeling hopeful and heard after just one session with Dr. Harel.

Final Thoughts

Starting couples therapy in Los Angeles might feel uncertain at first, but it can be the beginning of something truly healing. With the right therapist and a willingness to grow together, you and your partner can rediscover what brought you together—and build a stronger, more loving future.

Therapy isn’t just for fixing problems—it’s for building connection, deepening intimacy, and learning how to thrive together. And in a city like LA, help is just a click away.

Ready to Reconnect? Let Dr. Harel Help You Understand What Your Body Language is Saying

If you’ve noticed signs of emotional distance, strained communication, or unresolved conflict, don’t ignore them. Small shifts in body language and tone can signal deeper emotional needs—and with the right guidance, they can also lead to healing and reconnection.

Take the first step toward a more connected, fulfilling relationship—Book a session with Dr. Harel today.