This is a constructive time in the relationship. Following the fusion of the honeymoon and the storm of the power struggle we emerge with a new awareness of who we are in our union. We are conscious of each other’s strengths and shortcomings. The differences between us highlight our separateness.
Couples reaching the 4th stage of love have been through a great adventure together. They have shared many ups and downs of life, weathered victories, and losses, built a family, and possibly, raised kids together. The middle age is knocking on the door. Many of the familiar roles become secondary.
It is said that only 5% of all couples ever get to this promised land of milk and honey. To reach the stage of mature love the couple had to successfully navigate the stages of conflict, individuation, self-actualization, and recommitment. Mature love is a grand accomplishment in the mastery of
Couples Therapy works. It’s a fact. The past decade in my Los Angeles private practice provided ample of proof the effectiveness of couples counseling. Many couples left my office after their last couples therapy session only to reach out a few months later to check in and describe the profound
About two decades ago, before my graduation and subsequent move to beautiful California, online I met a colleague, who became a friend, Rick. He was my senior by a few decades and has practiced psychotherapy for many decades. Toward the end of his clinical career, he enjoyed the back-and-forth email
As I mentioned in my earlier post, many many years ago, before my graduation and subsequent move to beautiful California, I met a colleague who would later become a significant influence in my formation as a psychologist, as a couples therapist, and as a gay man. We met online. His
Many years have passed since I moved cross-country and settled in couples therapy in Los Angeles, California. These were full and busy years. A freshly licensed clinical psychologist I dove head first into the construction of my California life. Career and Love were my prime two agendas. I established my
This is the last email I have ever exchanged with Rick. We fell out of touch, swallowed by the whirlpool of our lives. I am reading through the letter and recall confiding in Rick, telling him the story of my love, while trying to make sense out of it myself.
California is beautiful in the spring. Sunny deep blue skies, fluffy bright white clouds, and a fresh breeze were compelling arguments for a walk on the beach. Nevertheless, I sat down to write this quick blog. In my mind, I replayed this morning’s conversation with a prospective client. He found
It has been a full month of this war. January 20th, 2022, at 4:00 am Russia invaded peacefully sleeping Ukraine. Weeks prior to the invasion we watched the growing tension as the Russian military concentrated great force around the Ukrainian border. The possibility of a Russian attack was spoken of,