What to Expect in Your First Couples Therapy Session in Los Angeles

A practical guide to navigating your first step toward healing and connection

Starting Couples Counseling in LA: What You Need to Know

Taking the first step into couples counseling can feel intimidating, especially if you’ve never experienced therapy before. You might wonder: Will the therapist take sides? Will we just argue in front of a stranger? What if things get worse? These are valid concerns, and common ones.

But here’s the truth: beginning couples therapy is not a sign your relationship is failing. In fact, it’s often a sign that you care deeply and want to build a stronger foundation. In a diverse and fast-paced city like Los Angeles, where work-life balance, traffic, and personal pressures often get in the way of connection, couples therapy in Los Angeles offers a much-needed space for pause, reflection, and healing.

Whether you’re struggling with communication, recovering from infidelity, or simply feeling distant, understanding what happens during your first couples therapy session can ease anxiety and help you feel more prepared.

Why Couples Choose Therapy in Los Angeles

Couples across LA seek counseling for different reasons. Some are navigating big life changes like moving in together, getting married, or having children. Others are trying to recover trust, improve communication, or even decide whether to stay together.

Common reasons couples seek counseling include:

• Frequent arguments or miscommunication
• Emotional distance or feeling disconnected
• Infidelity or betrayal
• Differences in parenting styles or money management
• Cultural, religious, or sexual identity differences
• Life transitions like career changes, relocation, or illness

The good news? In Los Angeles, you have access to a wide range of highly trained therapists who specialize in relationship therapy and understand the city’s unique cultural and social landscape.

What Happens in Couples Counseling?

Before we break down the first session, it helps to understand the overall process.

Couples counseling is a structured, collaborative experience. Your therapist isn’t there to judge or take sides, but to create a safe space for both of you to be heard and understood. They act as a neutral guide who helps you identify unhealthy patterns, build new skills, and reconnect with empathy.

Most couples counseling involves:

• Identifying the main challenges in your relationship
• Learning healthy communication and conflict resolution techniques
• Exploring underlying emotional needs and triggers
• Rebuilding trust and intimacy
• Setting shared goals and boundaries

Therapists often integrate mindfulness, trauma-informed practices, or even somatic tools, depending on your needs.

What to Expect in Your First Couples Therapy Session

Your first couples therapy session is mostly about understanding your relationship’s story and setting goals. You won’t dive deep into conflict right away. Instead, the session focuses on creating a safe, supportive foundation—similar to how depression therapy begins by building trust before exploring deeper emotional patterns. This gentle approach helps both partners feel heard and supported from the very beginning.

Here’s what you can typically expect:

1. Warm Welcome and Logistics

Expect your therapist to begin with introductions, a brief overview of how sessions work, confidentiality policies, and how often you’ll meet. If you’re doing therapy in-person in Los Angeles, they may also explain office norms. For virtual sessions, they’ll check on your tech comfort.

Example: “This is a safe space for both of you. My job is not to take sides but to help you both feel heard and understood. I’ll sometimes pause or reframe things to help you communicate more clearly.”

2. Sharing the Relationship History

The therapist may ask questions like:

• How did you meet? What drew you to each other?
• What are some of your best memories together?
• When did you start noticing difficulties?
• What brings you to counseling now?

These questions help your therapist understand the context, dynamics, and emotional tone of your relationship.

This part of the session often helps couples reconnect to why they’re together in the first place.

3. Understanding Each Partner’s Perspective

In a respectful and non-blaming way, the therapist will encourage each of you to speak openly about your concerns.

You might be asked:

• What do you hope to gain from therapy?
• What’s been hardest for you lately in the relationship?
• What does support or love look like to you?
• Are there specific communication or conflict issues you’d like help with?

It’s common for emotions to come up during this part, and that’s okay. A good therapist will make space for emotion while gently guiding the conversation so it stays productive.

4. Exploring Communication and Conflict Patterns

Most therapists will observe how you communicate—even in real time—and may reflect what they see:

“It sounds like when you feel criticized, you shut down, and that leaves your partner feeling abandoned. Does that feel accurate?”

They may also help you begin to notice triggers, defense mechanisms, or recurring loops. You won’t solve everything in one session, but you will begin to see patterns more clearly.

5. Setting Initial Goals

By the end of the first session, the therapist will usually summarize what was shared and help you set one or two goals for future sessions. These might include:

• Improving communication during conflict
• Rebuilding emotional trust
• Creating shared rituals or time together
• Setting clear boundaries around stress or work-life balance

You’ll likely be asked to attend weekly or bi-weekly sessions at first. Some therapists offer homework, such as journaling, date-night exercises, or communication practice.

Will the Therapist Take Sides?

A common fear is that one partner will be blamed more than the other. But trained couples counselors are skilled in maintaining neutrality. They focus on the system of interaction, not who’s “right” or “wrong.”

Even if one person is expressing more frustration or one has hurt the other deeply, therapy focuses on understanding how both partners contribute to the dynamic and how to shift it toward something healthier.

Note: If there is abuse, control, or coercion, a qualified therapist will address that directly and may adjust the approach for safety reasons.

How to Prepare for Your First Couples Therapy Session

Here are a few steps to help you and your partner feel more prepared:

• Talk about what you both want from therapy. Even if your goals differ, naming them can help the therapist guide the conversation.
• Agree to show up with openness. You don’t have to be perfectly calm or composed—just willing to engage.
• Know that discomfort is normal. The first few sessions may bring up emotions. That’s not failure—it’s movement.
• Write down questions or concerns in advance. If there’s something you’re afraid to bring up, let the therapist know privately or at the beginning of the session.

Choosing the Right Couples Counselor in Los Angeles

Los Angeles has no shortage of excellent therapists, but it’s important to find someone who fits your needs and values. When researching, consider:

• Credentials and specialization: Look for LMFTs (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists) or psychologists who specialize in relationships.
• Approach and training: Ask if they use the Gottman Method, EFT, or other models.
• Cultural competence: If you’re in a same-sex relationship, interracial couple, or from different religious or cultural backgrounds, look for someone who understands those dynamics.
• Style: Some therapists are warm and nurturing, others more structured and direct. You’ll want someone whose style feels supportive to both of you.

What Happens After the First Session?

Your first couples therapy session lays the groundwork. In future sessions, you’ll begin:

• Learning and practicing communication skills
• Processing specific arguments or emotional injuries
• Developing rituals of connection
• Creating action steps for improvement
• Exploring personal histories or triggers in more depth

The pace and structure will vary depending on your relationship and your therapist’s approach.

Most couples see positive shifts within a few sessions if they commit to the process. Like going to the gym, results take time, effort, and consistency, but they’re absolutely worth it.

Final Thoughts: The First Step Is the Hardest—But Also the Bravest

Starting couples therapy in Los Angeles might feel uncertain at first, but it can be the beginning of something truly healing. With the right therapist and a willingness to grow together, you and your partner can rediscover what brought you together—and build a stronger, more loving future.

Therapy isn’t just for fixing problems—it’s for building connection, deepening intimacy, and learning how to thrive together. And in a city like LA, help is just a click away. It’s helpful to have a rough idea of the cost before you begin. The average online marriage counseling cost ranges from $150 to $300 per session. Many therapists offer flexible pricing to make support more accessible and affordable for couples at any stage.

Ready to Reconnect? Let Dr. Harel Papikin Help You Understand What Your Body Language is Saying

If you’ve noticed signs of emotional distance, strained communication, or unresolved conflict, don’t ignore them. Small shifts in body language and tone can signal deeper emotional needs—and with the right guidance, they can also lead to healing and reconnection.